Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Proposal

In November last year I went to Auckland for a weekend, to attend the first ever (and utterly awesome) New Zealand Food Blogger's Conference. The conference was all day Saturday, and being surrounded by foodies I had offers of both brunch and yum cha lunch on Sunday before flying home. Late on Saturday, when my wonderful hostess and the other slumber-partyettes had retired I was chatting to Mr Cake and mentioned the possible gluttony the next day, and he commented that he was going to make me dinner, implying that binge-eating perhaps wasn't the best option. I settled on brunch only, and after a relaxing day with fellow bloggers I hopped on a plane and flew home. Coincidentally another blogger was on my plane, and kindly gave me a ride home from the airport.

When I walked in the door I instantly knew something was up - the table was perfectly set (tablecloth! Awesome candles I'd never seen before!). It all turns into a bit of a blur from here on in - I know he offered me a seat, poured me some wine (Mt Difficulty Roaring Meg Pinot Noir, which I am quite partial to), and served me both an entree and a main. I know they were both delicious, and that we chatted normally throughout, though I was obviously exceedingly suspicious. And I know that he pulled off a perfect chocolate fondant for dessert, but made me wait to eat it while he asked me if I would marry him. And I know that I said yes. Very happily!
There was no ring (I had let him know I didn't want an engagement ring), there was no fanfare (but I would not have been happy with a public display), but it was perfect. 

(and then we told our parents and siblings and kept it a secret for the next five months)


  1. Congratulations!


  2. No recommendations other than the one you've already linked.

    Other bits that served us well in the States a decade ago:

    - Never ever ever ever say "wedding" when booking anything. Say "event". Claim it's an anniversary party for your parents. Whatever. The wedding premium is real and, I think, is largely due to venues knowing that wedding couples are a pain - they whine more over details that others couldn't notice. So say it's not a wedding and be relaxed about the details.

    - If parents are helping to fund things, and if you worry that one side or the other may attach strings, split the cost across you and both sets of parents. Without having to say anything other than that the costs are split that way, you've made it credible that you can drop anybody who imposes costs and just go ahead with something a bit smaller scale. Suddenly, there are no demands to invite Great Aunt Blah who you've not seen since you were 4.

    - We ordered all our flowers online and did up own arrangements as massive cost saving; dunno whether possible here.

  3. Thanks Alessandra!

    Eric, thanks, great tips. On the wedding premium, the flip side is where we do care about the pedantic little details that paying it gives us assurance. ;-) And it's definitely possible to do flowers that way here, both of my sisters have done that. We're not going to have flowers at all - but if we were we'd definitely do it that way too.